i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
