My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
