You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
