She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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