I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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