guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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