Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
