Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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