Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
This is my gift to your gina
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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