So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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