i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
