Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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