I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
