There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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