i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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