I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I smell stomach acid.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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