oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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