His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
