hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
