He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
