Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
