i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
