PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
