Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
