I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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