he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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