Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I CAN MOONWALK!
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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