Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
As shirtless as possible
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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