The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Rumble strips road head = magical
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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