Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
