i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
