so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
