To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
