I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
