thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
