"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
