And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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