its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
