God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize