Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize