So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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