ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
mondays should just be called national damage control day
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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