She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
These tits shall not be calmed
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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