just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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