It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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