dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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