3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
