Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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