i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
