Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
