I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
