I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
