I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
