first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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