I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
