So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
