Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
