I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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