If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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