I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
