absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
