you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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