I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize