there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
