i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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